Be devoted to one another in brotherly love; give preference to one another in honor – Rom 12:10

A “self” mentality which the world teaches is dangerous in a marriage relationship. A natural man is naturally selfish. However, if there is a word that runs basically in the opposite direction of love, it is selfishness. Love seeks to put your spouse first; selfishness puts you first.

Why do people have such low standards for themselves but high expectations for their spouses? The answer is simple, though painful to admit – selfishness.

When a husband puts his desires and priorities ahead of his wife, it’s a sign of selfishness. When a wife constantly complains about the time and energy she puts into meeting her husband’s needs, it’s a sign of selfishness. But love “does not seek its own” (1 Cor 13:5)

If you even do a good thing to deceitfully manipulate your spouse, you are still acting out of selfishness. The bottom line is that you either make decisions out of love for your spouse or love for yourself. You can’t be acting out of real love and selfishness at the same time.

True love does not negate the happiness of your spouse so you can enjoy it yourself. When you genuinely demonstrate love, there is a resulting fulfillment that cannot be duplicated by selfish actions.

If you find it hard to sacrifice your own desires to benefit your spouse, then you may have a deeper problem with selfishness than you want to admit.

Do something special for your spouse today – not out of selfishness but out of true love.

“Do nothing from selfishness or empty conceit, but with humility of mind, regard one another as more important than yourselves” (Phil 2:3)

Culled from Love Dare by Stephen & Alex Kenrick