Be kind one to another, tender-hearted, forgiving each other, just as God in Christ also has forgiven you. – Eph 4:32

Kindness and Patience are the two pillars on which a successful marriage is built.  Kindness is love in action. While patience reacts in such a way as to minimize a negative situation, kindness acts to maximize a positive circumstance. Patience is preventive; kindness is proactive. Kindness means you are not too busy or too important or too fond of clean hands.

The parable of the Good Samaritan reflects the attributes of kindness – gentleness, helpfulness, willingness and initiative.

Gentleness: When you are kind to your spouse, you’re not unnecessarily harsh, you’re sensitive to the feelings of your spouse, you’re tenderhearted, speaking the truth in love.

Helpfulness: Being kind means you are always looking out for ways to meet the needs of the moment – house chores, school runs, a sounding board, a shoulder to lean on, whatever it is. You serve your spouse without worrying about your rights. You are curious to discover the changing needs of your spouse and delightedly ensure you are the one to meet those needs.

Willingness: Kindness inspires you to be agreeable, flexible, cooperative, rather than being stubborn or obstinate. You are willing to compromise and accommodate your spouse instead of complaining and being rigid with your opinions or decisions. You end thousands of potential arguments by first giving a listening ear than demanding your way.

Initiative: Kindness thinks ahead, it takes the first step. The kind spouse greets first, smiles first, serves first, and forgives first. You don’t wait around to see if your spouse will play his/her part before showing love.

True love is not based on feelings but determines to show thoughtful actions even when there is no reward in sight. Your enjoyment in marriage is linked to the level of kindness expressed daily.

Are you gentle or helpful? Are you willing? Do you take the initiative to help or wait around to be asked? How would your spouse rate you on the kindness scale?